So something i've questioned my whole life but now in the last 2 days more then ever is beauty.
What is beauty?
This must be the most asked question of all time am i right?
There is this perception of beauty that every girl
tries to live to be. I am one of those girls.
We are told by friends, family and magazines from a very young age what we are 'supposed' to look like.
I imagine perfection not being confident or successful but how good you look in a bikini. I know i'm wrong b
ut i do believe that until I'm comfortable in my
body i won't be happy. Which will probably be never because one can never be pretty enough, skinny enough, graceful enough or... perfect enough.
for this blog post i typed one word simply into the google search engine, "P
erfection
". I expected yes some photos of beautiful wo
man posing for a camera but i also imagined beautiful oasis' with green grass, blue skies and a blazing sun, but all i saw where pictures with slogans the very first image that appeared on
my window was this.
Is this true? we will see in our eyes what perfection is walking around us but never be it outselves?
To be honest though the woman in those photos are not perfection to me. I see perfection in the body of a blonde, tall, skinny and breath taking beautiful woman.
will this ever be me? well not the tall part and the skinny could take a while and as for breath taking beautiful well you can only know the answer to that from others.
But back on track the reason the question of beauty has been on my mind for more so then ever these past 2 days.
I was making onion rings the other evening, i love the taste but i find after i make them i do not quite like them as i know how much oil they have used but i love watching them fry as they turn the golden colour in the piping hot oil. those are the key words in this story, PIPING HOT.
I was finished and i put the sauce pan in the sink but because it was so hot the oil splashed up and hit my forehead and eye lid. the pain was so bad i just wanted it to stop. well after lots of ice and a nap the pain wasn't as bad, but the burn was hideous and i felt discusting, yesterday i didn't leave the house as i feel so ugly. if that isn't bad enough i woke up this morning and it's worse not better, makeup hurts on it and it doesn't cover it anyway so thats no help.
This photo is what i took earlier.
So i am not looking forward to a party tomorrow night to say the least, i will be avoiding the cameras and hanging my head in shame almost but i will be attending which is a step up from hiding in the house.
The burns may seem small and non existent to you but to me they are huge and hideous, i am a big girl, i chunky dunk rather then skinny dip my face is the only thing that I can try to make pretty with makeup, makeup has been my passion lately and without it i feel horrid.
so yes thats the end of my post i know it's not got a happy ending in that i totally believe in perfection and that appearance is important and that i haven't reached that level.
YET.
xo
